Amanezco

I have some photos up! Here are the links. They’re up on facebook for now, but they should be accessible to everyone. These are photos from Madrid, Castuera, diving and Seville.

Madrid, Castuera, Torremolinos
Seville

Also, I need to be sure to correct the address I have listed for myself. It is similar to the one I already gave (and if anyone has sent anything to the address I gave, it should still arrive as one piece of mail already has with an incorrect address on it), just some numbers have been switched around. Here is the CORRECT address:

Emily Kuhl
C/ Pedro de Valdivia 6
06420 Castuera (Badajoz)
España

In one month, I get to go to Madrid, where I will pick my mother up from the airport. :) I can scarcely contain my excitement for this!

And it also sounds like I won’t have to spend Christmas alone this year either, which is an amazing blessing. My Christmas two years ago was the loneliest I’ve ever experienced. I was very ill and my host-mother seemed only to notice because it inconvenienced her and she was afraid of getting sick herself. I used to think it was silly that people missed their families more at Christmas than any other day, but it’s true. It really hits hard when you think of how everyone is together and you’re not there. Luckily I shouldn’t be alone this Christmas and that will make the day so much more bearable away from the Kuhls.

Since I wrote last, life in Castuera has gotten… well, here is the thing. A lot of times I find myself trying to say something in English that really doesn’t translate. Some mornings I get up and text a friend and I can’t help but use the word amanecer. It means to wake up, but it brings so much more meaning than just “wake up,” so I say, “Good morning, how did you amanecer today?” Yes, half in English, half in Spanish. Because there really isn’t a way in English to say, “How was your getting-up process this morning?” Unless I’ve totally missed it, we just don’t have the same thing. But by using the word amanecer, I’m asking, “How was your waking-up process this morning and how did you feel upon waking up?” It’s all rolled into one. Waking up in English seems to mean the moment you open your eyes, but in Spanish, there is more than one word. And amanecer is the process of it- the whole shebang.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I can’t say what I mean to say in English sometimes. Life in Castuera is… bettering. Can I say that? I would say life has gotten better, but that drags in a connotation that it was horrible before and that I’m clawing my way out of something. It is rising up? I don’t know, I don’t know how to say it. In Spanish I would say la vida sigue mejor, literally translated, life follows better. Life in Castuera follows the slow rise upward, better and better every day.

I still don’t communicate contextually very well with the people around here. I don’t understand the context in which people speak and they don’t really understand what I mean. I know the words, but I get lost when people talk to me about something because I lose the purpose of the sentence. Why is she telling me about her grown son? Was it because she had a question for me or because she wanted me to say something or just wanted to talk at me? I get confused.

And the people don’t have much patience here. My headmaster, for instance, only gives me one shot at understanding his Spanish. If I don’t understand what he says the first time, he switches over to English, which is not helping me to understand him at all! And if I ask someone to repeat something, they tend to say it just as fast and muffled as the first time. And I can only ask for repeats in a conversation so many times before I get left in the dust, as the speaker gets frustrated with me and gives up. Which in turn makes me a little frustrated. I know this language, I’m just having troubles being totally fluent right now!

Another thing I am struggling with is internet. I don’t want to pay for my own internet because it would be very expensive since I would not have the opportunity to split it with anyone, so I’m just mooching at this point. If I have a break during the day, I can use the school’s internet, but it doesn’t always work and it doesn’t give me access to many sites, like anything with the word “game,” which is a bummer for me because I try to plan games for my classes and can’t search for any. And the school is open again from 4:00-6:00 in the afternoons and I can use it then, but sometimes the teacher’s lounge is used by the chess club or by a reading group, etc, plus sitting inside gets really cold really fast at the school. The library is a pretty good option, but it is pretty far away and there are always a couple of girls that I meet there who know me and have added me on facebook that I despise. Why do I despise them? Because they laugh at me for not being 100% fluent in Spanish. I learned the word “cuadra” to mean city blocks, but they had no idea what that meant. Nevermind that I was using perfectly legitimate Spanish, just not Castilian vocabulary, apparently. And then I am reading things on my computer screen in English and they are half-giggling, half-speed-mumbling something to me in Spanish without really getting my attention beforehand and they expect me to understand them. No, I tell you, it’s not easy to do two languages at once. I can hardly do one at a time. So then when I don’t hear them, they laugh at me and make fun of me and I am partially absorbed in what I’m reading or writing and partially trying to ignore them and it just makes me angry. If they want an intelligent conversation with me, I can certainly try, but I think mostly they want someone to laugh at. That’s me.

I suppose you can guess their age level. High school. Don’t miss those days. Anyway, so the library sucks for the reason, as well as the fact that the warm spot in the library doesn’t allow talking, while the wifi spot that allows talking has to have the door open at all times, which means it has gotten super cold lately.

I can also leech internet off of an office building near my school, which has been nice on nights when the school’s internet isn’t working and I only need fifteen minutes of connectivity, which isn’t worth going to the library for. And it’s nice to be able to walk to that office if I can’t sleep just to send some messages and whatnot. The foreigners work in the office though, and it always seems like they are discovering me there, which makes me feel lame because it makes me feel like I don’t do anything but browse on my iphone. Plus, the people that live on that street probably think I’m a creepo because I sit out on the sidewalk sometimes. I just want to have a little box where no one can see me and stare (and alternately I would really like to not creep anyone out) so I could just use the internet in peace without feeling like “that girl.”

And I feel like I could deal with only a couple of hours of connectivity per day if I were just more organized. When I get a bar of wifi, I tend to waste time and not get the things done that I need to get done. I’m doing a little better because I’m trying to utilize lists, but I’m still a little exasperated, because it always seems like I’m getting shooed out of internet before I have accomplished all I need to. And then I really have no choice but to pack it up and finish everything some other time. So THAT is my internet struggle… how to organize myself enough to deal with very limited connectivity.

And I guess too it would help if I weren’t lonely. When I get a moment of connectivity I message parents or brothers or Katie or others because I just miss them all so much. I’m fine by myself, but to not even have the possibility of getting in touch without those precious few minutes of internet every day makes me want to use the minutes of being connected to message people, which then keeps me from getting things done sometimes. But I’m not willing to give those up. I have to stay connected with family and friends. I love it.

Anyway, since I last wrote, la vida sigue mejor. I have been hanging out with the foreigners in the town a lot, which is a relief because they are all kind of in the same situation as me. None of them are totally at home, which means we have something in common.

There is an English boy that comes over to Castuera from his neighboring town of Cabeza del Buey (Donkey’s Head!) and hangs with the foreigners here. I love it when he comes, because he has a really dry sense of humor, as the English are wont to have, and we can communicate almost in the same way with one another. I have always been told I have a dry sense of humor too. So when Katia and Katya are trying to talk to one another and find themselves in violent agreement but are just not getting there because they’re trying to make their points known in English, which is second language to both, Nick and I giggle at the misunderstanding. And we enjoy making fun of one another for saying things differently, like aluminum, etc.

Several weekends ago, I went to Seville (here they say Sevilla). I traveled with the other Auxiliar from Castuera, named Tom Hanley (no relation to Sean Hanley!). I went to Don Benito and spent the night on a surprisingly comfortable couch and the next morning Tom and I got up pretty early to get on a bus headed for the city of Seville.

We had hostel reservations beforehand, but we only had a vague idea where we were going. And it didn’t really help that Tom seemed to be a typical male who thinks his sense of direction is impeccable, which it most decidedly was not. But we finally found where we were going, checked in to the very comfortable hostel located on a side street in the center of everything, and then spent the rest of the day wandering around.

And, yeah, I have to complain because there’s an issue that has angered me (along with many other issues I encountered with the International Programs Office at the University of Idaho) for some time. While Tom was getting into most museums and sights for free or for very discounted prices (free instead of 6 euros, 2 euros instead of 8 euros) with his International Student Identification Card, I was paying full price. When I went to Ecuador, half of the people in my program were given these cards by the International Programs Office and half of us just didn’t get them. It’s like, someone decided to half-ass do their job, meaning that half of us were just plum out of luck.

And I could go on about IPO, but I will bury the rest of that for the sake of a better read. Ajkdaieruaq.w,mfnalxkjcfq,aemjdhflaert!!!

So anyway, I spent money rather quicker than I had hoped and I got tired a lot faster than Tom did. I love walking, don’t get me wrong, but walking the same streets again and again to find yet another museum got old. At least for me.

I love going away for the weekend because it usually means I have internet at hours that are reasonable in the United States. During the time that I am awake, Americans spend the first half sleeping and the second half working. And during the time that Americans are awake, I’m either sleeping or don’t have access to internet. At least in Castuera. So it is nice to go away because it means that I can leave Skype up when I browse the web and video chat with people. Sometimes I don’t believe text messages and facebook posts that people are still alive and breathing. Sometimes I wanna see that in person.

Tom and I saw the Cathedral (a picture of which is in my facebook album with the full moon above it), the palace in the city center, the Tower of Gold (didn’t have any gold in it, no idea why it has this name), the modern art museum that was surprisingly interesting, and other neighborhoods of the city beyond what would have been called in Ecuador, “Gringolandia.”

My favorite part of going anywhere is the food. I love to eat. And I don’t even care if it is a Chinese restaurant in the middle of Spain, I love it. I don’t have to have the 1,000% most typical thing of wherever I am. I like all of the consumables. I like to know what the Spanish version of Cashew Chicken is. So, we ate, though admittedly sometimes I got frustrated when Tom wouldn’t take me seriously when I said, yeah, let’s eat. I get grumpy if I don’t eat when hungry.

Last weekend we got together to say goodbye to Darma, the Taiwanese girl who came to my classes and did presentations for the kids and taught them to use chopsticks and make Taiwanese crafts. She is traveling for a bit and then is headed back to Taiwan. So we went out for a couple of nights, even managed to score free drinks and appetizers one night at a cultural event we didn’t even go to! That was also where I ate the testicles of some unknown animal. The waitress had a great time laughing at us when we asked what kind of meat it was.

This weekend I was going to try and go with Katya to Cabeza del Buey to see Nick, but I got sick instead. Eating the same thing I have been for a month now, I somehow made myself violently ill. :( So I didn’t go anywhere. But I did get to go next door and have coffee with my neighbor, which was a highlight. They’re so nice. I felt awkward, but she’s this 72-year-old lady living with her retired husband and they’re just so nice and pokey and friendly. And I always get so happy when I see old couples just as content as ever living with one another. Sure, passion is a thing of the past, but they’re comfortable with one another, they don’t have any drama, they don’t fight, they’re just satisfied. Mariano and Fernanda, not needing to look anywhere else to make themselves happy. I’m a sap, but it’s not even about the romance, it’s just about being content. It’s a beautiful thing, I guess.

I now have two “clases particulares.” These are tutoring groups. The first meets on Wednesdays at 6:30 and consists of two fifteen year olds and the second meets Thursdays at 5:15 and consists of four eight year olds and one six year old. The younger group is proving to be more challenging because I have to work with a much lower level. They know words, but nothing of the structure of the language. They have been taught to repeat things like, “My name ees Roberto,” but it’s that they know how to make the sounds, not really what each part signifies and how to tear it apart, rearrange it, etc. I suppose I’m hoping for too much. After all, it has been quite a long time since I was at a very beginner level of Spanish, and even longer still with English. I just need to learn to work with their very low level, so that’ll take some time to figure out. In the meantime, I get to practice my Spanish with them and occasionally teach them vocabulary.

As for the rest of my teaching, it’s getting better all the time. I’m still not used to the noise. I come home at the end of a day of class and just want to sit somewhere in silence. The kids are SO loud. I know that it is partially because I am not used to being in a classroom full of kids, but also I think the kids here have a different kind of behavior. I think it is part of the culture that whoever is the loudest is who gets heard.

Another thing that I am not used to is when the teacher criticizes one of the students. I don’t remember it being that way when I was in elementary school, but the teachers seem to like to make examples of some students in the classroom when the students do something wrong. Like Thursday, this girl Tamara didn’t do her homework because she didn’t have paper, so he very much berated her in front of the whole class, even going so far as to mock her some. When another guy came into the class to ask a question, the teacher asked him if he had paper at his house and when the guy said yeah, the teacher said, “See, even he has paper. You can’t tell me you don’t have paper.” And he would go on and on. Again, I don’t really remember elementary school that well, but I don’t remember being mocked in front of the whole classroom by the teacher if I didn’t do something correctly.

And it makes me feel so awkward. It’s like that Dane Cook joke where he says, “daddy just hit mommy at the dinner table.” What do you do? I just kind of stand there at the front of the class and wait for it to end. But these attack sessions go on too long and I feel awkward. :( I don’t know how to deal with that yet.

That is all for now. Enjoy the photos! Leave comments! Send me your love because I'm sending you all of mine right.... NOW!