Joe impulsively bought plane tickets to go home
and see his family in February.
This worked out fine for me, as my parents would be visiting in April and so I would have a bit of a relief from homesickness. Being away for so long for Joe took on an entirely different meaning, since the two year separation he had from family and friends came hand-in-hand with other emotions because it was a Mormon mission. Long story short, the emotions for him were more complicated than the average homesick kid like me.
This worked out fine for me, as my parents would be visiting in April and so I would have a bit of a relief from homesickness. Being away for so long for Joe took on an entirely different meaning, since the two year separation he had from family and friends came hand-in-hand with other emotions because it was a Mormon mission. Long story short, the emotions for him were more complicated than the average homesick kid like me.
So he went home, but not before I teared up a
couple of times. It was strange, because
it was only an absence of two and a half weeks or something like that, and yet
here we were sad as could be for being apart.
We realized that other than his trip to Europe and India right at the
very beginning of our relationship, we hadn’t been apart for more than, what,
like five days? It was weird to think
that because never has it felt like we were too wrapped up in each other, the
way that an unhealthy high school relationship is. I think maybe it didn’t feel like that
because we sort of melded into one right away.
Not as in we lost our own identities ever, but just that our lives ran
so parallel that it would have been much more of an effort to segregate our
lives away from one another. I think it
is healthy and it makes me think that we’ve chosen each other well.
Blah blah blah.
Enough with that philosophical mushiness.
It was about this time that I started considering
the idea of finding another job. Was I unhappy at Peppers? Noooooooo, never. I didn't need the baggage that came with the job. I actively applied at a few places, just to test the water. Then one day randomly, my boss at Ramada
asked if I wanted to work there in housekeeping. The department at Ramada was apparently
having troubles getting their deep-cleaning work done along with their everyday
cleans. I said maybe yes! I told them I would help Peppers make it
through Valentine’s Day when the place was very busy, but then as soon as
possible thereafter I would work at Ramada.
The difference between waitressing at Ramada and
housekeeping at Peppers was striking.
For Christmas at Peppers, we were literally yelled at and told that our
productivity the day before was shit.
Tracy then grudgingly said in monotone, ”Oh, and merry Christmas,” and offered us a single piece of candy. At Ramada, at the end of the night we were
given a pack of candies and a bottle of wine to thank us for working. It made me appreciate Ramada, despite its
occasional flaws, and that was part of the reason I switched the housekeeping
duty from Peppers to Ramada.
Joe’s work at Paradise Links had a Christmas
party for their staff, and when I got off work that day, I joined him at the
golf club. The staff is small at
Paradise Links, so the party was intimate.
There was a big shrimp cocktail, but not much of it was left by the time
I got there. It was a very nice
appreciation. They also did a BBQ for
New Year’s, which was also really nice.
There was a Christmas party at Peppers as well,
but it was for the whole region, so there would be a ton of people there. It didn’t sound like much fun, plus it cost
some money. I didn’t go, but then in
February while Joe was away they did a Peppers Beach Club (the Port Douglas
resort I worked at) Christmas party that included a buffet and lawn bowling. I was within a day or two of finishing my
work at Peppers, so I RSVP’d yes to it because Tanja was going, and why the
hell would you say no to free food and lawn bowls? So we went and had a very nice time. It was weird to see everyone in casual
clothing instead of the hideous uniform we wore. It was especially weird to see everyone’s
hair because we all have it so tightly tied up when we work. I’m sure my long, curly hair was surprising.
I was quite happy to switch my housekeeping work
from Peppers to Ramada. I tried to not
get too bitter about Peppers, and once I finished there and didn’t have to
convince myself to show up every morning, it was easier to let go. I appreciated things about the place (the
exercise of dragging linen up and down stairs, the beautiful rooms, and getting
to work with Tanja), but I never really missed it once I was gone.
A few days after Joe went home, the dynamics of
the house changed when another couple moved in.
A few weeks prior, Drew (our sub-letting landlord and flat mate, as well
as Tanja’s boyfriend) and another flat mate named Lachie had a small falling
out. Drew had been contemplating asking
him to move out for a while, since his friends Miles and Anoet from work were
coming up on the end of their lease and having them move in would mean having Wi-Fi,
a big TV, the happy little doggie Toto who had been to visit us a couple of
times, and a few bits of furniture here and there.
Drew’s asking Lachie to move out went okay
(Lachie was bummed, but not too bummed), but then shit hit the fan when Lachie
heard from someone that Drew was going around town telling everyone that Lachie
was actually being KICKED OUT by Drew.
As soon as he heard this, Lachie ditched in a matter of hours. Turns out it was a misunderstanding and within
a month or so they had made up. Lachie
found a nice place to live instead, which was good for him.
When Miles and Anoet moved in, everything
changed. We got to have Toto live at the
house, which was absolutely amazing, but there were some trade-offs. Lachie’s presence had been pretty
peaceful. The new flat mates threw a
little more chaos into the house. Miles
was bizarre, Anoet was a little loud, and both, I think, are moderate
alcoholics. It seemed like a bad omen
that their first full night in their new room they both got blindingly
drunk. To be fair they were having a
fight, and between a fight, the stress of moving, and the stress of no longer
having a house to themselves was enough pressure to warrant feeling the need to
escape through alcohol. Healthy, no, but
understandable, probably.
They never really got less weird either. Anoet was very nice most of the time. She would drink excessively when she did
drink, and when that happened, she was a chain-smoker, smoking one cig after
the other after the other. She is from
South Africa and it was very difficult to get her to open up and connect. I would test the water every few nights and
she would get comfortable and seem like she was maybe going to open up a bit, but
then she would either suddenly go from tipsy happy to slurring and almost
asleep in a matter of minutes, or something else would get in the way of
connecting—like a fight with Miles. It
was frustrating. I even once was trying
to really test and see if I could get her to open up, so I told her my biggest
secret. Within moments, the alcohol had
caught up to her, she was slurring, and she wasn’t able to articulate anything
past surprise at my secret. She then
danced around in the darkness and we didn’t say much else to each other.
I have to be careful because I get unnecessarily
negative about people sometimes. It is
my biggest downfall. Bearing that in
mind, I still think I have to say that I never liked Miles. There were a couple of particularly bad
moments late in our sharing a home with him that turned me off entirely, but
all along he was just a bit too bizarre.
Right from the first day that they moved in, I could see that he didn’t
treat Anoet like she deserved. All
reservations I had about Anoet (and I really did like her, I just found I had a
very hard time getting deep with her) aside, she at least deserved someone who
gave her the time of day. He wasn’t even
nice to her at all.
And he got weirder as time went on. Our first conversations with him impressed on
us that he might have had Asperger’s. He
was flighty and stuttery, unable to answer questions in straightforward
sentences, and he moved around and used gestures too much, like he was nervous
all the time. He seemed
intelligent. He obviously knew a lot
about a lot.
But then we saw that he spent literally no time
with Anoet. In early conversations with
Anoet, she told us that they were together partly because they both liked the
independence. He was her first boyfriend
(at age 26 she got her first boyfriend!), and I suspect that her being a late
bloomer in that area had its negative consequences. Anoet was a very mature person, much more so
than I was when I got my first boyfriend at age sixteen. But I feel like no matter the age or maturity,
you still don’t know yourself yet, or at least the self that you are in
relationships. My first boyfriend was a tool
bag. It took mistakes and experience to
know that and to know that holding on to that relationship would have been the
worst thing I ever did. Obviously some
people are able to have a healthy first relationship that lasts their whole
lives, but I suspect a lot of people are like me and have to go through the
ugly relationships to know what you really want and need in a partner.
I can pass a lot of judgment on their
relationship, but obviously I don’t know exactly why they are together, and how
can I know? I’m making conjectures based
on observation. And what I observe is
that he treats her as a low priority in his life, and that’s not cool. On his days off he would lay in front of the
TV and watch Family Guy for hours, while she would try to get him to hang out
with her by the pool or have a BBQ. She would make a
Sunday roast hoping to have a nice dinner with him, but something always got in
the way. She did his laundry, she
cleaned their room and the house, and she did the grocery shopping. I don’t think I ever heard him express
gratitude for any of that. His best
friend Gavin, who was a raging alcoholic and basically a child in a 40 year old’s
skin, got more attention and time than Anoet.
He was a sommelier, which I think he was actually
quite good at. And he could be pretty
generous in sharing his nice wines. He
looked as though he studied a lot, though I suspect he did studying like I used
to in college: sit at the desk and try to put some good solid study time in,
but really just end up listening to new music, checking Facebook, and reading
about inconsequential data that I had always pondered. Only about 1/10th of the time was
I actually able to put in solid studying, which then of course raised my guilt
levels, which in turn raised my anxiety levels, which then made the matter
worse as I was trying to cope with the anxiety with distractions, which started
the whole process over. He sort of
struck me as that kind of person as well, so I have empathy for him.
But some of the less attractive qualities about
him were little side habits that he thought were cool. He had recently gotten into gambling on the
horse races, which took up a lot of his time as he researched the horses, their
patterns, and all the little details that might swing a race. I think if he did make money at it, it wasn’t
impressive amounts, but always boosted the addiction so he would bet on the
races again.
And then of course there was the pothead side of
him, which of course led to him planting marijuana seeds and growing plants of
his own, as a rather boring new hobby.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m the first person to promote having a gardening
hobby, but not with pot. It’s sort of a
symbol of self-importance that just sort of bores me.
I eventually got to the point with Miles that I
didn’t bother making conversation anymore.
Especially once he lost his shit a couple of times, once around my
parents when they visited, and once as we were moving out of the house in May.
Eventually I got used to the two new people in
the house and it wasn’t all bad. The
dynamics were different, but not unbearably so.
And it was nice to have internet, a doggie, and other creature comforts.
 |
| Toto and I in our "swimmers" at the beach |
But the dude gave himself two and a half weeks to
see sixteen brothers and sisters, forty nieces and nephews, his father, plus my
mom and dad and brother Dave. And guess
what? He just about did all of it. A couple of errant nieces and nephews were
unavailable (Ryan is still on his mission in Brazil, Aubrey and Colter had to
be skyped from Texas, etc.), but otherwise he saw the entire clan. Super impressive, in my opinion. He even made time to have dinner with my mom
and dad and hang out with my brother.
What a dude.
Meanwhile the weather back in Port Douglas had
turned even hotter than it had been. We
were brilliant and decided to be in Far North Queensland during the Wet season,
which is also the hottest season. There
were days that were worse than others, but it took some serious getting used to
in order to basically live in sweat all the time. You would think that having the swimming pool
would be a great way to cool off, but sadly the weather is SO hot that it heats
the pool as well. Meaning that your
refreshing dip is actually just like sitting in a bowl of soup.
But while Joe was gone it got really bad. There were several days that were
unbearable. I would complain about the
heat plenty, but those hottest days were really so bad that you couldn’t be
outside. Thankfully we had an A/C in our
room, because I don’t think I would have made it without it. I think the temperature was well over 100
degrees Fahrenheit, with humidity sitting right around 100%. I HAD to stay in the room with the A/C
because I wouldn’t have managed without it.
About halfway through Joe’s absence, something
went wrong on my side in Australia. I
was doing house chores (sweeping and mopping, de-cluttering, and washing my sheets)
when I suddenly realized I had not seen my phone in a little while. I looked everywhere, but had the sinking feeling
that since I had last seen it on the bed, it could possibly be somewhere in the
sheets. After panicking in the room, I
went to check the washer. I pulled the
sheets out, looked through them and in the rest of the washer, and was relieved
when I couldn’t find it in there. I put
the sheets back in, started the washer, and went back to scouring my room and
the house.
Ten minutes later having had no luck, I
reluctantly went back to the washer, just to be sure. I pulled out the sheets and buried in them
was my month-old beautiful blue iPhone.
I was shocked. I had not only
washed it, but unknowingly put it back in the washer to continue the cycle.
I cried, but put the phone in rice. I have had luck with phones in water before
just by taking them as much apart as possible and then putting all the pieces
in a bag of rice. Admittedly, the two
times I had done it before were with phones that could easily be taken apart
with a tiny screw-driver. All I could do
with my precious iPhone was take the SIM tray out. Everything else is seamless.
I moped for a long time. I checked to see how long it had to sit in
rice, and it said two or three days. So
I set a timer on my old phone for three days and patiently waited, moving it
occasionally so that the rice could be shifted and absorb moisture easier.
I told myself that I couldn’t tell Joe until I
had tried it after three days. It was
very difficult to keep it from him and pretend like I was happy as.
When I took it out to try it, there was a flicker
of hope when the screen sort of took on some light, maybe even the Apple
symbol, but then I heard it short inside and that was it. That was the end of my brand-new phone that I
had waited so long for. I called up Joe
in tears and admitted it. He took the
news very well and just wanted to make sure that I was okay. It seemed like eternity to wait less than a
week to see him again.
When he finally did come home, I had the room
clean, a candle lit, and some relaxing music on, as I tried really hard not to
stare at a clock every 30 seconds. As
soon as he came in the house, he came back to the room, dropped his bags, threw
his arms around me and said exactly what I had been thinking: “Let’s not be
apart like that ever again.” It was one
of the sweeter moments we’ve ever had, and we’ve had some pretty sweet ones.
It was so good to have him home. The cool part was that he did feel like he
was coming “home,” even though he had left Idaho to return to Australia. I realized how much I missed having someone
who would smile and say, “Hey baby” when I would come home from work. How awesome to have someone who would ask me
about work and listen interestedly. What a good man he is and what a lucky
woman I am.
I digress into mushy again…
Life went back to normal again, with me working
in housekeeping at Ramada maybe two days per week, and then working five or six
nights per week in the restaurant. I was
a little bummed to not be getting many hours in housekeeping, but at the same
time it was nice. The slower pace was making
me feel super relaxed.
Joe continued with Paradise Links, where he did
maintenance and garden care. How he
managed to work outside all day in a polo t-shirt and long pants when it was
that hot, I have no idea. I had it bad,
but he had it way worse. He enjoyed the
work because he had the gardens looking beautiful. So much so that he got compliments from the
residents. His boss Roland was a weirdo,
as his approach to all situations that arose on the property was panic mode and
skepticism. It was hard to work for
someone who had little common sense, lots of know-it-all, and a general
incapacity to deal with situations calmly and practically. Joe would often come home from work and be
like, “you’ll never believe what he had me do today,” and would then proceed to
tell me just how Roland had directed Joe to fix a long-term problem with a
painfully short-term and rotten solution.
I can’t say that I’m not glad Joe complained about Roland so that my
complaints about my employers didn’t seem quite so negative. :)
 |
| Joe's gorgeous handiwork on the carefully manicured gardens and hedges |
 |
| Lachie and Freja being dorks |
We went swimming with Adam and his tiny puppy
Milo in the river, which was the only water cool enough and jelly-fish free to
swim in.
 |
| Adam, Mimmi, Milo and us |
Stay tuned, sorry for the clunky format. :)
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