OZ9/11: Darwin, Finally

Bleh, so three waterfalls and a mental breakdown out of the way and we were pretty exhausted by the time we started the drive to Darwin.  I booked the cheapest hostel we could find in the city on the way there.  We stopped at a little Indian restaurant on the way to help stave off the hangry.  Soooooo good.

We went to check in to the hostel, which was a big process because we had to fill out forms and give them passports to have copies.  In the meantime the guy that was helping us was waging a war with another backpacker who had asked to use a pot.  The signs in the place said that cooking hours were from 6AM to 10PM and it was 9:40.  But the guy at the counter was abusing him and saying, “What, you’re going to cook at this hour?  What are you going to cook?  You should plan ahead and get a pot earlier.”  It was ridiculous!  If he didn’t want people checking out pots and pans after 9:30PM, he should have put that on his sign.  And he was cursing at the guy, as if the backpacker were some lowlife trying to screw the hostel out of its time and pots.  I could have bitten the dude as well.

We finally got to our rooms, taking Gwen up with us.  Gwen stood in the hall and sorted through her gear to get it ready to go on the plane.  We got our electronics out and charging and did data exchanges so that everyone would have everyone’s photos.  Jojje asked who wanted to be the unlucky one to have to take Gwen to the airport, since we were all exhausted and we would have to go quite late.  I suggested we all go out of solidarity and fairness.  So we all went, even though we were yawning.  We took a quick group picture and said our goodbyes.  Gwen gave us all small little hugs, but she purposely left Jojje for last and gave him a much warmer hug, suggesting that he go stay with her next time he was in Sydney.  He casually said goodbye without too much attention to her advances.  I felt for her.

Do we look bedraggled?
Because we certainly felt bedraggled.

This trip was unreal.  It was also unbelievably hard on me and Joe.  Looking back on it now, I can’t believe I ever muddled things up with emotions and moods, but at the time there was nothing else but emotions and moods.  During that time of the month, and during particularly bad months, I am nothing more than my emotions and moods and I hate myself for it.  It’s hard not to after the fact.

I hate that when things are timed wrong, I am just shit out of luck.  And I hate even more that Joe has to be victim to my stupidity as well.  I like to think I am a great catch outside of my PMS.  If you consider the PMS in the equation though, my numbers don’t do well on the scale.  Poor Joe.

I could have made a great bond with Gwen.  I screwed that up.  The trip could have been just plain epic, rather than epic and emotionally exhausting.  Even with all the shit that I screwed up, it was an amazing trip, so it hurts me to think how much more amazing it could have been had I not been so weak to the whims of my hormones and chemicals.  And not only did I ruin it for myself, I also hurt everyone else's experience.

 

The four of us headed back to the hostel, tired and looking forward to a night in a real bed and back in civilization.  I was looking forward to soothing my inner storms in the comforts of the city.